Out in the Dark and the Phone is Charging…

April  2010 / 25 No Comments

I’m Alex

I – phone

How do you do?

How do you do…

It sounds ridiculous. Like one of those stories you read about the year 2500 when people move around on flying discs, imagine giant spinning Frisbees, with mobile controls in their hands, pointing to the nearest shop, dial: bread, nearest bakery, there you go, voila!, depart the aircraft, get the bread, launch the aircraft, depart, dial: sausages, nearest butcher’s, off we go, Frisbee turn right, depart the aircraft, dial: pub, friends off we go… the quickest ‘walk’ you might ever have….

Recently I realized we are nearly there – in this science fiction future. Since I got HIM,  I have no need to check the address before the party any more. My Apple feels offended, makes faces and gets brown (rotten!) as I leave for the party without consulting him first. I have Googly-maps (yes, I call them ‘googly’ to show my affection!) on the phone, I can check the route on my way. Dial: wine please, the nearest wine shop pops up! Not that I didn’t know it… I am a student, I have lived and drunk in this place for a while now, but I want to check Him…suspense…catching the network…there you go! He got it right! Correct! Direct me round the corner, to the shop, to the shelf, to the wine…well not quite to the shelf, but let’s have a bit of drama…for the i-phone’s sake. He likes being appreciated. He vibrates in joy as he reads these words, which, of course!, I am writing on Him, on His keyboard (where else!), the Apple is still making faces, like my cat when I got a dog and forgot about the cat’s existence…a new toy, but how useful!

But they have to cooperate: Apple and I-phone, my two pets, there have no choice. When I update my diary on one, the other one gets updated automatically! This is communication, this is the flow of information, I can see it in a gust of wind exhaled by my computer in the direction of the phone, resting on the bedside table (He gets tired too! What do you think?) . No, I can’t really see the gust, this is the scariest thing! Information flows, but I can’t see it, I can’t see the process, just the effect (since when am I so philosophical?!) but the effect is stupendous! (this word I got on thesaurus, on my phone of course!) Marvelous, glorious, or just practi … practicous! Yes, I needed a new word to express my wonder as I open my phone and the diary (yes, I am still speaking about the diary believe it or not!) is there, updated, with the next event coming up, let’s see, dance social…In ten minutes! Oh dear! Now I need to leave you my dear fellow friend, you can’t dance yet…but, He argues, and yes how right he is!, He can show me the videos of all the best dance couples  in the world, I look on U tube, the dancers quickstep through the screen at a speed of light (did you have a look at my profile dance photo? That’s what they do, but times 10! In speed and height!), but my phone copes with the energy, He projects everything in full quality, I can even take photos with His assistance, 5 MEGA pixels, for humanists we provide a translation: good, very good pictures…

Which Way?

What else could I say, He is small! Yes, He hides in my pocket, in the palm of hand, this thin little creature called Mister I Phone… It’s light like a feather, but I would spot its absence in a second, so attached we’ve grown to each other over the last 24 hours we’ve lived together, under one roof…now I might be laughing, mocking Him a bit and myself as well, but in truth, all of my events are there, in the phone, so once it’s lost, my social life is lost…so I keep it safe, feed it well, the batteries matter, but I really need to go now to this dance social, and forget about Him for a moment…

Can I really leave Him behind? For the whole round two hours? Can I get there by myself? I have done it for the last four years … can I still? People get used to good thinks, they stop thinking, I’ll risk it, says my more adventurous self, I’ll let it charge, I’ll go there by myself and see what comes out of it… keep your fingers crossed, I’m out in the dark and the phone is charging!